Almost the instant I put up the other blog, I was given some light in my little tunnel that I’ve been trapped in.
I suffer from stomach problems – acid reflux, indigestion… Quickease is like my bestest friend at the moment as well as another med that I take which does wonders.
My problem didn’t stem from a bacteria or an ulcer (please don’t let it be God), it came from stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety from what? From working way too hard, studying way too much, driving around, anger, anxiety, emotional issues and really, just living a life that was so distant from my core; from who I am.
I like to live life slowly and take time to appreciate the roses.
But in the last few months, I’ve been busy and living life way too quickly and I think I’ve aged way before my time!! What I do for a living. lol. I think the average age of the person who does what I do is probably like double my age – but ey, I think I’m ok with it!
Studying. I passed the damn course! So when I get my cert, I will show it off!
As for my post grad stuff, I’ve decided to take it easy, and just finish it off slowly instead of rushing.
What’s the rush anyway?
Not like I need to be anywhere ASAP.
Anyway, back to the piece of light giving information that I received!
I seriously had no idea that most of the foods we eat are actually acidic food, most of the food I eat anyway.
I had no idea that eating oats, rice, meat would give me more acid than eating fruit! I assumed that something sour like grapes or peaches or oranges would give me more acid!
OH how wrong I was!
Well it’s NO WONDER I felt sick. All I ate were foods that actually left acidic residue in my body than alkaline.
The other thing was eating too fast and too much. I have reduced… or should I say increased my eating to 4 to 5 to sometimes 6 times a day. Instead of eating 3 big meals, I break it down to eating every 4 to 5 hours. I also tried to change what I was eating, like become a vegetarian – yeahh… that didn’t work. I actually ended up more hungry than anything.
What it means for me is that I actually have to add more things into what I was usually eating. Like actually having to eat more fruit and veggies and to take out eating too much meat.
Oh gosh, I had like fatty meat today and it hurt quite a bit trying to digest that!! T_T
It’s a handful.
I have to eat on time and I can’t stay hungry for a long time. Not that that’s a good thing anyway.
I’ve learnt to respect myself and my body to give myself good stuff and actually physically do things for myself, preparing food, thinking about food and what I’m eating to ensure that I’m healthy and I’m full.
Not only do I need to think about what I eat, I also need to think of what I’m doing.
I’m quite a busy bee and I do like to stay active and do stuff each day, but I also need to give myself time to chill, to relax.
All I’ve done in the last few days is just sleep, eat and play music or draw pictures. I really try not to overload myself.
It’s difficult, but, kind of in a strange way, it’s made me re-evaluate my lifestyle and this is the lifestyle that I’ve always wanted to have. I think because of my new job and the overwhelming study load that I had, my vision of what my life should be just dissipated and disappeared for a while.
The other is that I’ve had to change and because of the way life has changed. Changes that occured because of growth and transistion. The things that I’ve wanted as a young adult is now a lot different from what I want as an adult.
Change is one of the hardest things that we experience.
Unfortunately, it is one of those things that occur quite regularly but only so when we allow for it to happen. Right now I feel as if my entire view of my life, my future and my lifestyle is just changing.
I have learnt, from my illness, that I want things to slow down so that I can enjoy my time doing whatever it is that I’m doing, whether it be just having dinner with friends, or taking photos, designing or working with people.
I still love making people happy. It’s a drive for me. It’s a fuel that makes me feel energised. And of late, I’ve been too rundown and burnt out to be able to care for other people.
My biggest project is caring for myself and making myself happy – and that’s difficult because there are a lot of people in this world who grow up thinking that being unhappy is the right thing to do – I am one of those people. Hence why it makes us feel more comfortable and more at ease when we talk about how crap our day was, how this person hurt us, or why our life is such a shit hole.
Oh how difficult it is to bask in your own happiness and being proud of what you’ve done and how far you’ve walked. It’s just as difficult hearing it coming from other people. That’s my biggest challenge.
My other challenge is to continue to live the life that I find most meaning in and to tune out people who come along to challenge me that my life is not “the way to go” because they can’t have it my way. All I can say to you people is “F*CK OFF!”
Though, thankfully, a majority of people in my life right now are all great people with happy news to share!! What I like!! MMmmmmmm…….
I’ve wanted to share this piece of work for a long time!
I designed and got it made so many months ago and it took me a whole entire night of editting and thinking, but it is worth it!
To commemorate and give respect to the ONE – PERSPECTIVE project, I made a book to highlight all the contributors and all the works that were made into this book. I was so pleased with the results and this book is hella awesome!
ps. Yeahh that’s me beautiful bed cover!!
By the same token, I’ve started to plan the next project. It’s going to be slightly different and very direction focused. It should be really interesting and exciting. This time round I’m going to showcase my actual talent. lol.
That’s just a really nice way of saying that this time round I will actually pattern make and spend more time on these garments. I have to give myself some time to enjoy what I’m doing.
So until I finish with the garments and think more about what I’m going to do and HOW I will set up the project this time,
I will not disclose any more information!!
Guitaring…. I’ve actually learnt a new way of playing and I quite like the style. It’s a lot more cleaner and gives me more space to put more of me into my music. I may do a few songs soon. May… *blushes*
My new camera is like too awesome!!
Here are some shots from St. Kilda Pier Beach. Enjoy them!
(Might I add, I have not photoshopped any of these images! All thanks to my new BABY! LuMIX LOVE YOU!)
Challenges all around but we can get through them together! xx